Sunday, May 29, 2005

How to play poker with the best

Yeah, yeah. Don't laugh. This is going to be good. We had our monthly poker night last Thursday and it was time for me to pull rank and kick some ass. I have been getting pounded by my little brothers in poker and it's definitely not helping the ego. Last two times we played I came very close to winning, but as Michael Jackson would say, "Nothing is close unless you score."

I wanted to come out and set the tone. No more fooling around with these little bastards. It was Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid time.
Knives or guns?
Neither.
O.K. then it's bare hands.
I don't want to fight ya', but if we're going to fight we got lay down some rules.
Rules?

My brothers wouldn't even know what hit them by the time the first round was over. I was going to up the ante and make everyone feel the wrath. The room was filled with so much tension and hostility. I could have choked on the sweat pouring off their brows. The cards must have looked foreign to them as the first bets went around. I stammered when it came to my bet, 50. They all peered into each others eyes to see if I was bluffing or really had something worth while. The both crumbled with fear. Rob, my brother's friend, decided to stay in. As the flop was turned over, I sighed some relief as I had a pair of queens smiling beautifully at me. Rob wouldn't back down. I decided to make it very interesting. All in!! On the first hand! That would make him cave. Still, no sign of wavering. Rob shrugged off the call and the last two cards were turned over. I knew that he had something, but it wouldn't be my pair of Queenies. There was nothing on the table worth a run at. This was it I was going to show all them not to mess with me. I turn over my two ladies, and then Rob smirks as he shows me his two ACES!!!! So, I sat around watching the other three play out their hands. Laughing at the small talk banter of poker. Watching my brothers win again. Finally a lesson worth learning. I'm jinxed. I am like the guy in the movie a Bronx Tale, that Chazz Palmaterri refuses to allow in on his dice game and makes him sit in the bathroom because he's bad luck. Not anymore. Next time around, I will bring the Oreos and K.G.B. their monkey ass'. No more sitting around waiting to see who collects the pot. It's my turn boys to show you guys there's nothing to this game.

1 Comments:

At 6:14 AM, Blogger bayou_boy504 said...

Man, I thought you were telling the truth when you started off. Too bad. Kind of reminds me of Happy Gilmore going out to the 9th at 9. He's all excited to be getting out there only to find that when he shows up, he gets hosed. So sad.

 

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