"Nobody drink the beer! The beer is bad!"

Really when it comes down to it, beer is just beer. Or is it? In the paper today there was an article describing how people are becoming connoisseurs of beer today. I'd like to classify myself in that category of being a beer consumer… I mean connoisseur.

A friend of mine really put it at best what it’s like to be a beer drinker. If he had to choose between drinking a great tasting import or a glass of water, he would choose the glass of water. Now if a Budweiser were in that selection process, he would have chose that instead. "You gotta stay true to the Red, White and Blue." It would be similar to choosing your own third party candidate, your Ross Perot or Steve Forbes. There are so many choices out there today, and depending on your budget that’s where your taste bud selection starts to vary.

In college, your taste buds are adapting to the ever-changing world that surrounds you. It all starts with the frat party foam, which is usually the most water down version possible sold for approximately 5 dollars all you can drink of foam and water. This is a total and complete utter loss. Then as you progress along in college you have the private party syndrome. You show up to a party with the cheapest beer possible (Natural Light, Old Milwaukee, Miller High Life, or Beer-Beer), and then partaking in sharing with others. This is when you develop the idea that all beer tastes the same, and you don’t need to buy expensive imports. Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with any of those beers especially if the purpose of the evening is to get so wasted you forget everything you’ve learn for the past decade. I have been a part of the reverse process, I have shown up to a party with a cheap six pack then upon placing my beer in the fridge notice their are some beers I've never heard of. That's when I pull the old switcharoo. I grab a paper towel wrap it around one of the unknown beers to hide it's identity, then drink as fast as possible to have no one notice that I just stole their beer. Towards the end of your college career you suddenly get exposed to the imported beers. Someone’s parents are throwing a graduation party and spend big bucks for booze or the random roommate who has a good job decides to let you indulge in some good beer for a night of pizza and cards. This is worst scenario. It’s all down hill from this point. Now that you’ve tasted some good beers, it becomes a little known factor that there is a difference in beers.

After graduation, you spend the next five years wasting your life trying to find out which job you hate the worst. Is it the bust my ass to get some “experience” job where I make 7 bucks an hour for some unholy of an ass boss that wants you to work Saturdays, Sundays and every freaking holiday in between or is it the I’ll do anything job right now just to get some money and buy some beer. This is another low period in the drinking phase. This is when you develop some nasty habits. You got to the store on the weekends and you search frantically for the best bargains in your price range. Sometimes, you even sacrifice eating good healthy food to get a decent six-pack. I remember one time, I walked into a grocery store needing to buy food for the next week to live off of, and I had roughly 40 bucks. I took a sharp turn once entering the store, walked profusely over to the liquor aisle and bought my beer first than preceded to shop for my other goods. I ended up buying 10 boxes of mac and cheese, a bag of frozen chicken nuggets and a jar of pickles. The main goal is to prevail during the hard times and keep your good active taste buds alive. Don’t let them die off under the sale of a case of Barbells and James.

Once you’ve settled down into a job and a steady girlfriend or boyfriend. Whatever your choice may be. This is when the microbrew phase hits you. You decide to go out on Friday for happy hour with the guys from work and hit the local brewpub. It’s there that you notice a menu full of beers. Then someone let’s out a huge secret that the vats in the middle of the pub are actually brewing beer. Know one of your idiot buddies tries to be bold and try a selection of the newest microbrew in town. This beer comes in frosty cold pilsner glass that sparkles as the belly ringed waitress sashays over to the table. As the glass is placed down on the table, a magical sunbeam protrudes through a glass window in the front of the bar, casting a spot light onto the reddish hue beer. This mouth-watering concoction melts the heart and soothes the tongue. Everyone reaches into their pockets to see how much they have to spend to get a small sip of the fabulously looking beer with dancing bubbles shaking themselves desperately in front of you enticing your weakest inhibitions. That’s when someone overhears those magical words, “2 for 1 special for the next hour.” Beer comes flowing to the table like water melting from polar ice caps, and everyone claims this is the best beer they have ever drunk. From now on your life has systematically changed, because you always look for the times when you can indulge in a micro brew or import. You figure ways to try and get your significant other to the pub, maybe it’s something along the lines of “I heard the food at the brew pub is prepared by Emeril Lagasse” or “I heard they are giving away free shoes at the pub tonight.” Whatever you may have in your bag of tricks, use them to get back into the good graces of tasting nothing but the finest beers. And so it is, beer selection is at an all-time high; remember you only live once so drink in good health. As someone once said, “I live to eat and not eat to live.” Well, I live to drink good beer, and will not subject myself to drink bad beer to have a good time.