You just keep thinking, Butch. That's what your good at.

I had an epiphany last night, or maybe it was a reoccurring nightmare. I keep imagining that I am Howard Hessman from Head of the Class and I teach a class full of rejects. Basically, I teach a bunch of Spicolli’s and Pauli Shores for a 3 hour lecture on colonial New Hampshire economics of the 18th Century. How was it that Head of the Class was a show of smart kids who never graduated from high school for like 6 years. The only person to ever graduate from the show was the teacher.

What I really want to do is relive me and my buddies dream of walking out of our jobs one day to sail on an old pirate ship through the Caribbean with nothing but rum and peanut butter snack packs. Then someday settle down on a remote island and open a beach resort/bar. The place would be called “Cocktails and Dreams”. It may have been done before, I don't know. “Coglins Law, Bury the dead when they are stinking up the place.”
What I need is a duo. Sort of like my Robin. Without my duo I can’t do the things I always wanted to do but never had the courage. Such as, watch a marathon of Back to Future I, II, and III on Sunday after on TNT with the commercials when I had a 1,000 word paper due the next day I hadn’t started. By the way, what was up with Back to the Future III? It was the worst thing ever. I can’t believe they made Doc’ fly away in the end in a flying train. If he could make a 1985 Dolorean fly, why couldn’t he try making like a 1978 Pacer fly.

So thinking about duos, I have compiled a list of my top ten duos’s of all time. No need to cry about these, they are mine and not yours.

10. Simon and Simon – Who could forget Gerald McRaney, the guy from Major Dad, and the Vietnam Vet always bailing his preppy brother (Jameson Parker) out of trouble. Nothing gets by these two brothers; they are the best private detectives (dics) in town.

9. Bash Brothers – Now this a pair. Mark McGwire and Jose Canseco. During the late 1988 they both combined to hit 74 homeruns and over 200 RBI’s. The also helped Oaklawn A’s to the World Series 3 times. This is were the fun begins, I remember when Canseco was dating Madonna he had a 1-900 number that played a message stating “This is Jose Canseco, and tonight I went 2-4 with 2 RBI’s. My batting average is .306. And later on I will be getting down with Madonna at the Rainbow Room. Later.” Classic Canseco. As for McGwire he soaked it all up.

8. Doctor Dre’ and Snoop Dog – Classic duo that collaborated on “The Chronic”. It
was an instant classic. Especially for decades later as everyone would reiterate one of the numerous lyrics from the song “with my money on mind and mind on the money.” My favorite line from the Chronic album came whenever my buddies and I would be getting ready for a night on the town. I would come out blasting, “I ain’t comin home til 6 in da morning.” Lord knows Snoop has tried giving up smoking as much as I have tried cutting back on watching Seinfeld reruns.

7. Pesci and DeNiro – These two paired of for some of the greatest mob movies ever. This was the height of mobster period, “Goodfellas, Casino, and Raging Bull”. This goes back to when Martin Scorsesee did good movies without Leo!!! I think if I ever crossed these two guys in a casino I would cash my chips in and get as far away as possible. I really liked DeNiro before all the crap movies he’s done now, i.e. “City by the Sea”. Pesci is Pesci. Typecasted from day 1. His best role was in a movie called “Easy Money”. He was great as a drunk obnoxious plumber friend to Rodney Dangerfield. They both don't get much respect.

6. Waldorf and Statler – I loved these two. They are the two old guys that sit on the balcony in all the muppet movies. You remember, they sat in the Abe Lincoln seats and made fun of everyone during the show. It was the best part of the movie. I remember I couldn’t wait to hear them, they were the ultimate at put-downs. I think they could make a run today in a talent contest of put-downs. They would always make fun of Fozzy Bear. Who didn't. One of them was forever sleeping, until the other would wake him up.

More too come later.