What the Blog

Why try figuring it out? It's all part of the master plan. I have to decide today whether I am going to go out to dinner for my birthday or if we will just eat at home. That's the decisions you make when you make that finally leap of commitment into the abyss we call marriage. It's not a big birthday, for I am only turning 29. Although, it's a year away from the big 30. I have already come to the forgone conclusion that I will be celebrating the 2nd annual 28th birthday for myself. No more growing up. That's for suckers and guys like Sean Connery. By the way, he has to be like 50 years old for the last 30 years. I saw that unforgettable master piece of a movie he made, "A League of Extraordinary Men", and I swear he must think he is still James Bond.

Anyways the options are abundant for my birthday bash. Dinner at my favorite restaurant in New Orleans or a nice dinner at home? Still don't know what to decide. So, I will take you down memory lane for one of the worst birthday parties I ever had. Everyone has at least one birthday party they want to forget, and I am not talking about the one in which you don't remember because of you tried to match the beverages consumed to the number of years that equals your age. It was my 23rd birthday. No one to hang out with. Plus, I am very low key about birthdays because they really have no purpose other than to bring people together to celebrate their ineffectiveness to remember how old you are. "How old are you again?" "Geez, I never would have thought you were that old." Or better yet, "Savor up the good years, because it's all down hill after this."

Back to my thoughts, 23rd and I have nothing to do. I decided to finally mentioned to my boss at the time that it was my birthday, thinking it would get me out of work for the day. My laziness exposed. Still, my boss had the great idea of taking me out to a birthday dinner of my choice. Just for a point of reference, I was living in Lake Charles, Louisiana at the time. Birth place of the phrase, "That's your cousin, mine too."
My options consisted of Long John Silvers, Darryl's (which really is a Clint Eastwood "Any which way but loose" honky-tonk bar that allows you to throw peanut shells on the floor for decorative purposes) and Applebees. I really need no thought process in this matter as I choose my friendly neighborhood bar and grill, Applebees.

It was a Friday night, so of course it was packed. Not too mention we had only a hour dinner break from work because I was working at a dump of a t.v. station. If you've never worked in t.v., my advice is don't. The work hours are not conducive to the lifestyle that any normal human being is used to other than prison guards and Denny's waitress'. We had to sit at the bar in order for us to get in and out under an hour. I had to be back at work to videotape someone getting evicted from their mobile home and then set it on fire so that no one else could ever live there again. As you would know the food took forever to come out, so we had to throw the food down our gullets in a matter of seconds. The conversation at the counter was horrendous. I thought it would be great just to have someone to talk to on my birthday, but I would have rather eat alone in the bathroom. When the dinner was all over, I was then bombarded with a flurry of disgruntled Applebees' waiters singing me happy birthday. They all looked like they would rather be singing happy birthday to Louie the dishwasher guy than me. I couldn't eat the delicious brownie sunday because I was running late, so I decided to put it in a to go box. Which I didn't eat until I got off work at 11pm and proceeded to eat by myself. The only happiness I got was a phone call from my girlfriend at the time (now my wife) who was living in California. I don't understand why you remember the worst things that happen to you and easily forget the good things.

So, I think I have made up my decision. Definitely going out to dinner for my birthday. Now, I have to decide where to eat. I know one thing is for sure, it's not Applebees.