Trade Deadline and the Girlfriend

Baseball and relationships? They go hand in hand. I one time tried to relate a relationship to a badly turned 4-6-3 double play. It wasn't good. When we get near this time of the year in the baseball season (Trade Deadline) it gets me to thinking about relationships.

If we could only manage our relationships like we would our own team. I'm no Billy Beane, but I would love to be Theo for a day. With the trade deadline looming and my Red Sox in need of another starter I felt compelled to see the similarities between the trade deadline and the girlfriend.

I once was in a relationship that had plenty of upside that's all I could see it at the beginning of the season. She had some offense and plenty of opportunities for her to get better as she moved up through the minors, but she couldn't hit a changeup and in the majors that's killer. It was at this precise moment I would have loved to make a trade. See what someone else is offering that may make my team so much better. In that case, we needed more offense because she really didn't bring it when it mattered most. Such as holidays, vacations, dinner, and most notably social situations. If I could have traded some of her personality traits in for something was better it could have made the season salvagable.

I could just see it now. I would be calling up a buddy of mine at 2am in the morning... I'll give you Jody and a girl to be named later for Priscilla and cash. This could make relationships better and give girls a better chance of finding the man of their dreams. Of course there would be girls with no trade clauses. You can't have Jennifer Anniston going to the Royals. She top caliber with the option to decline a lower eschleon team. So we would have to have a commissioner that could veto trades almost like a Chuck Woolery type to make things even. Plus after the trades everything could be nixed if one of the girls fails her physical. I'm not saying this would work, but I always thought about this as an opportunity for both the man and woman to better their options. Lucky for me I've locked up my girl for a life-time contract with a no-trade clause. Sometimes we break the curse and end up winning the World Series.